How young is to young

[zaqhyb]

Today kids are having kids at very young age. But Why? There isn't any real way that Adults or other kids (like me) can stop young pregant girls. I heard that girls age of 14 and less in texas have two or more kids. So i ask you how young is to young?

[Arkacia]

Under the age of consent is too young.

One thing that will help is education, education, education.

Just telling young people "don't do it" is totally ridiculous. Of course they are going to do it, and if they don't have the knowlege of how to protect themselves and how their bodies work, then pregnacy is a more likely result of that.

Young people need to be taught total sex education in school, preferebly around the ages of 10 to 12, before they start puberty. At least then, they will know what to expect and what to do when the time arrives.

[the_dude3]

Yes but if they are educated about it doesn't that make them want to do it because they know what will happen if they do have sex? Babies don't really stop people as we can se in society today. Also, isn't education a way of saying "don't do it" in the first place. Not that I'm against sex ed. or anything, but yeah.

[Arkacia]

A lot of teens will have sex regardless of whether they are educated about it or not. Thats just a part of growing up. The hormones rage :).

If they don't get proper sex education, they are going to go to friends etc asking questions. A couple of the goodies I was told as a teen were, you can't get pregnant the first time, and you can't get pregnant if you do it standing up. Both of those are total rubbish, but are the type of things kids believe if they can't get the truth.

At least if they get the education, they will know what protection is, and how to use it.

[zaqhyb]

you know that i have to agree with you. Sex ed. Would help kids to learn wut to do in a case where maybe the girl did get pregnant. How wut choices they might have. I think that in sex ed. They should tell about alternitives to sex like what else couples might do when in a spot where sex might be a choice.

And yes sex is going to happen anyways but it doesn't have to be if kids a ed. on wut to do.

[pollovivo]

Very true... if you can't stop it, educate about safer measures and how to deal with the 'consequences'.

[snowboardchk]

I think it is rong to have kids at age 14. I think if you're married its ok, but if your not and your just screwing around, it is very wrong.

[sdadw]

i personally think that this is a disturbing subject which need not be touched. although i hate how i am too young for alcohol, according to older people...

[Arkacia]

i personally think that this is a disturbing subject which need not be touched. although i hate how i am too young for alcohol, according to older people... Thats half the problem though, people not wanting to touch this subject and talk about it with teens. Some adults seem to think if you sweep teen sex under the carpet, and forget about it, it'll go away. Problem is though, it won't.

I can't help but wonder how many of the 14 and 15 year old girls bringing up children, had been exposed to open and full sex education before they fell pregnant, and how many had depended on whispered lies, rumours and misinformation in the school playground.

This is'nt just a problem for girls either, they don't get pregnant on their own. Boys should also be taught how to use protection, and to use it everytime, not just when they feel like it, or the girl insists on it.

[Shaggy]

Deb, I agree with you on the Sex ed at those ages, but it will surely get voted against in schools, because of the wierd no sex parents out there!

[Arkacia]

Deb, I agree with you on the Sex ed at those ages, but it will surely get voted against in schools, because of the wierd no sex parents out there!
Yes, you're right about some parents not liking their kids being taught sex education, and a lot of them use the "its our place to tell them, when we think they're ready" argument, then most of them don't. I know this, because I grew up with parents just like that.

Then when their kids end up having kids out if ignorance ( I did'nt), these sort of parents are the first to blame everyone and anything, except themselves, which is where the blame really lies.

I think some parents need to realise that sex ed does'nt make kids run out and do it, thats a lie, but it does help protect them from pregnacy and STDs.

[Skeletor]

hmm interesting subject, in my mind sex education should not start until at least 14-15 when they are able to grasp the concept of what they are actually being taught, that said I would have to say that i also am a strong beleiver in that a parent should decide when to approach the subject with their child not an education authority, teaching a ten year old imo is going about it all the wrong way. But i don't think the way to solve this is thru education, i think firstly nowadays there is much more relaxed censoring laws and kids have access to way to many resources that would bring the subject of sex to their attention. It's all over the tv and there are innuendos and references to sex on kids tv programs!..i am not saying it should become the taboo subject it once was, but certainly more responsibility should be taken over how sex is portrayed.
ENOUGH! i'm rambling if this makes no sense please do not pm the author, just kick him next time you see him :D

[Mick]

It makes a lot of sense Skeletor, I do think that 14-15 is a bit old, I think round 12 would be better because some kids become sexually active round 13-14, very few, i'm guessing but it does happen. I do think it is a good idea that the parents do teach the kids but we do need the educations system to do it as well because there are many parents who don't teach enough.
As for the innuendos and references on kids programs, I think they are for the adults benefit, I have seen programs that I didn't understand these innuendos when I was younger but I do now. They also range from being obvious to very subtle, like in South Park.

[Freakums]

on this subject, i will quote form some arguments urronding other issues in ortder to make a point. this isnlt nessesscarily my wording, but it makes the point well.
"we didn;lt let the bible in our schools anynmkreo, because it went against others religious belief. and we said okay.
mass media flooded us withy songs about suicide and eath, with tv thta onlky had potrn and violence on, and news that is paranoid and heavily opinated. and we said ok, its only entertainmne,t noone really listens.
differewnt pouints of view have been banned fgrom our schools, calling it blasphemy and the peopel who expressed these views heretics. and we siad ok.
and we wonder why our kids don;lt know right from wrong, shoot each other, and why so amny opf them can;t even find their state on the map?"

an american wrote that, not me, its not so bad in Canada, but i share that view in terms of sex-ed and teen-mothers and all that . . . .
not that i blame the parents, but why shouold they complain? you might nmote that we have sex-ed incanada startign form grade 4, becomign a regualr class insteads pf two one hour movies a yera in grade 6, and then dieng off in grade 8, leavign further formal education optional . . . we do have a rather lower rate of teen births here .. .

[damagedchild13]

Of course they are having kids in texas... bush took away his plan to enrich schools there to pay for war.

[NAFC3S]

Kids want to grow up fast so they see sex as something grown up so they want to do it, same thing with drinking.

[phantomullet]

Deb, I agree with you on the Sex ed at those ages, but it will surely get voted against in schools, because of the wierd no sex parents out there!
Actually, my school had a sex education program when I was in fifth grade, so I would have been 10. I have to admit,though that since I had not yet started puberty, not all of the things made perfect sense, but it at least helped clear various myths that I heard on the playground and from my friends.

[HinesDaMan]

Personally, my opinion is that sex-ed should be contraceptive-based, not abstinence based. While this goes against the teaching of my church, I base this on my own personal experiences. Being a sexually-active teeanger in a school that taught contraceptive-based sec-ed, I think that I benefitted more than those schools who taught abstinence...I mean, I know that abstinence is a great idea and all, but...who can control all those hormones? Abstinence is outdated.

[Shaggy]

Good call Hines, give of condoms at school. Parents would be outrage and see it as being a key to have sex. I don't, the will have sex either way, at least they have the condom. And I know most won't go out and buy a box because they would be to scared too.

[HinesDaMan]

Yeah, I agree Shaggy, giving condoms at school would definitely make the most sense, but it is true that parents would flip. Most parents are in denial about their children's sexuality, which in my opinion, is one of the main problems regarding sex ed today. If parents are in denial, then they can't be that great of teachers, can they?

[phantomullet]

Personally, my opinion is that sex-ed should be contraceptive-based, not abstinence based. While this goes against the teaching of my church, I base this on my own personal experiences. Being a sexually-active teeanger in a school that taught contraceptive-based sec-ed, I think that I benefitted more than those schools who taught abstinence...I mean, I know that abstinence is a great idea and all, but...who can control all those hormones? Abstinence is outdated.
This sounds a bit hypocritical for someone who claims to be Catholic and is preaching Christianity constantly on the religions thread. Maybe, though, you have a different view on what the Bible says about sex and drinking.

[HinesDaMan]

Wow...no **** sherlock...if you noticed earlier I said that "my beliefs differ from my church on this"...read before you type.

[Arkacia]

phantomullet and HinesDaMan, please settle down, both of you. I don't want to see this argument escalate into a full on war of insults :).

phantomullet, you'd be surprised how many Catholics use contraception. Not all of them blindly follow the churches stand on this. My husband is Catholic, not devoute, but he does believe in God, and early in our relationship, we used it too, and without any questions, hesitation or soulsearching. This is an area where quite a few Catholics disagree with their churches teachings.

[phantomullet]

What? The church does not say anything about not using contraception, and I plan to use it myself. I have heard of a few people though, I guess. They base this upon one little verse that doesn't even mention anything about birth control. It says something like "Be fruitful and populate the earth". Also I wasn't trying insult HinesDaMan or attack his faith in any way and I am sorry if it came across that way. I was just curious.

[HinesDaMan]

You say the chuch says nothing about this? Then you either never go to church or *deleted by moderator*...the Catholic Church seriously condemns the use of contrecption. This is something that the papacy decided, and is not something that is found easily or clear-cut in the Bible...it's called "inference."

[Every1sHero]

Yeah, Phantomullet, you are very wrong on this. The papacy definitely declared that contraception was illegal, through interpretation of the Bible and its verses.

[pollovivo]

Pollovivo requests that this thread is kept to it's topic and religion is kept more to the religion thread. :mad: The question is how young is too young, not how religion says that we answer this.

The pollo has spoken. :angry:

[phantomullet]

There are not a whole lot of Catholics that I know that take take it seriously where I live and I have only gone to a Catholic Mass once or twice. I was recently talking about this subject with someone and I told them what I said. The person told me that Catholics do think that contraception is wrong and I thought to myself, o crap maybe I can change my post so I don't sound as ignorant. But to late. When I was referring to the church, though, I was including Protestant churches also and I can assure you that most Protestant churches will have no problem with contraception. And for your information HinesDaMan, I go to church every Sunday b**ch :angel1:

[HinesDaMan]

Well, you sure fooled me.

BTW, "the Church," refers typically to the Roman Catholic church, since it is the only organized church to date.

Sorry for the offense

[Scossaden133]

Your religon has absolutely nothing to do with anything as far as contraception. Girls want to get pregnant. I am not one to blame the famous people. But come on there are so many stars that have a very public pregnancy and it's smiled upon and every young girl wants to be like her star idol. Not to mention alot of girls purposely get pregnant now to hold on to that guy they think loves them and wont leave them cause they are pregnant. So stop blaming religon. It has nothing to do with it whether or not they believe in contraception. I am converting to roman catholic from menonite and believe me if there is any religon that believes that contraception being used it wrong it is menonite. :angel1: God mad a uterus for a reason and doctors made the pill for a reason. Girls want babies they think it's cool they want someone to love them there is no to young anymore face it todays society is all about babies having babies.

[HinesDaMan]

What are you babbling about? That post had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. If you read, you would see the religion in the conversation, and also understand that this topic is "how young is too young" not "do women like to have children?" I also find it funny how you bring up God later on in your post, but at the beginning you chastise me and phantomullet for using religion? Get a grip.

[Arkacia]

Your religon has absolutely nothing to do with anything as far as contraception. Girls want to get pregnant. I am not one to blame the famous people. But come on there are so many stars that have a very public pregnancy and it's smiled upon and every young girl wants to be like her star idol. Not to mention alot of girls purposely get pregnant now to hold on to that guy they think loves them and wont leave them cause they are pregnant. So stop blaming religon. It has nothing to do with it whether or not they believe in contraception. I am converting to roman catholic from menonite and believe me if there is any religon that believes that contraception being used it wrong it is menonite. :angel1: God mad a uterus for a reason and doctors made the pill for a reason. Girls want babies they think it's cool they want someone to love them there is no to young anymore face it todays society is all about babies having babies.
If girls want to get pregnant, then why is the abortion rate so high in the developed world?

I have no doubt your right in some cases, but I doubt all, in fact even the majority, of the underage girls involved get pregnant just to be cool, escape work, or get into a mans wallet. The pill or condoms (lets not forget the male has a responsibility here as well) don't do any good if the kids don't know about how to use them, or what they do.

[dunkinmb310]

i dont know i guess there isnt too young an age sex is sex enjoy it just dont get a kid or an std from it and u wont have any problems

[Arkacia]

i dont know i guess there isnt too young an age sex is sex enjoy it just dont get a kid or an std from it and u wont have any problems
I almost deleted this but decided to refute it instead. I agree that sex is sex but underage sex is a different kettle of fish. There is an age where kids are too young, thats why countries have age of consent laws, to protect children.

[yarnellcg17]

4 weeks ago my daughter was down for visitation..she'll be 12 toward the end of the year.. and she was asked by 1 of the neighbor boys *Do you want to have sex with me* She told him no..and to hit the road toad.. well I made him hit the road after she had told me... But the 1 thing that we have is communication.. she tells me everything and talks to me..
But I think the point I wanna make here is Communication starts at an early age and if you have that..then the numbers of early sexual activity will be lower as opposed to just telling them you don't need to know yet or telling your child to stay out of your hair.. when they come to you for answers to their questions.. My daughter was brave in coming to me about it.. I'm proud that she had me to give her that to her..

[Mick]

Thats really nice to hear yarnell, I don't think there would be many people around who could say the same as you. Communication is very important between parents and their kids, without it there are many problems a child can't understand or solve so they need all the help they can get.

It would also be difficult for a father to watch boys taking an interest in his daughter as every guy knows what it's like to have all those hormones racing through them. You would have a fair idea of what these boys are thinking, i'm not saying that all boys are bad, just that puberty and alcohol seems to be the right combination to dispel commonsense.

[JsWoman]

I was brought up knowing that my mom didn't have sex until she was married, and when I was younger I wanted to do the same thing, but, when I was 19 I fell in love for the first time. Thought this guy and I would get married, eventually, so gave into pressure to have sex with him. Well, as the story goes, that didn't pan out. I'm 23 now, married to an awesome man, and we have a very beautiful daughter.

As far as kids having sex, there's always going to be the few that do it, and the many that don't. Don't judge all teens by the minority. And, yes, I know that the numbers of teens that do have sex is on the rise, but, beyond informing them about what can happen and precautions to take if they choose to do it, what can we do?

Just my opinion.

[yarnellcg17]

I too was 19 when I had sex for the 1st time.. and like ya said..some will abstain..some won't..but the communication can never be given up on

[JsWoman]

Communication and honesty about your own choices will give your child/children a basis to work off of. If they know about your mistakes and what you would have done differently, maybe they will choose differently from you, or still choose to make their own mistakes. But, if they choose to make their own mistakes, you can't say that you didn't at least try. And you have to be there to help them back up when they fall flat on their faces, not just standing back saying "I told you so" because then they won't ever come to you with their problems, anymore.

[yarnellcg17]

That's true..you don't ever want to approach your child with an.. I told you so attitude..after they've commited.. doesn't give any further counsel with your child when that gets done..and they will basically say and think..well you never cared anyway..If they are willing to approach you about it..then by all means accept it..both you and the child..will appreciate each other alot better than you think..

[Mick]

Communication and honesty about your own choices will give your child/children a basis to work off of. If they know about your mistakes and what you would have done differently, maybe they will choose differently from you, or still choose to make their own mistakes. But, if they choose to make their own mistakes, you can't say that you didn't at least try. And you have to be there to help them back up when they fall flat on their faces, not just standing back saying "I told you so" because then they won't ever come to you with their problems, anymore.
That is so true JsWoman :) what more can I say? Being supportive is very important as eveyone makes mistakes as they grow up and need guidance and support.

[JsWoman]

Yes, they truly do, since I know that no one has gotten to where they are without some type of adult guidance.

[ender1626]

When i went through HS we had sex ed and there were still girls getting pregenent, but i suppose thats there choice. My wifes parents were the kinda that ignore the sex issue and acted like it wasnt there. I am pretty sure that my wifes sister is gonna end up having problems because she has been home schooled all her life and they clearly dont have a sex ed class. So well see what happens.

[JsWoman]

Good luck to your wife's sister. Hope she doesn't go to college and go all crazy because of being home schooled.

[ender1626]

Thanks for the concern, lol.:)

[YourMomsHott]

the only way for teens to stop having kids would be for them to choose to have safe sex.

[yarnellcg17]

And there is the over all way

It's also called abstinence

Very hard to promote that for younger people

But..I think if we can find it easy all the time to promote other things

Abstinence..shouldn't be left out..just because it doesn't succeed...

[JsWoman]

It succeeded for me until I was 19 years old, so I don't see why it wouldn't succeed for other young people. (I'm only 24, so I'm not so far into the game like other people my age.) At least I was of an age to fully understand what I was choosing to do, unlike the kids that do it to get attention, feel loved, or feel that they are being pressured by their peers to do it. That's my take on it.

For my daughter, I plan to promote abstinance. Telling her everything that I've learned, and why I think that she should wait to do that. But, then again, it seems that every parent is saying that, nowadays... But it doesn't mean they will do so. I will, because I know it's the better choice, and I have a basis to work off of.

[devil.child]

In my town we have sex ed in 8th grade and are taught the true facts about condoms. They definitely promote abstinence, regarding it the only 100 % guarantee against pregnancy and STDs (I have no quarrel with that) but they also say that condoms have an 85% working rate.

I know there are plenty of people in my freshman year that are no longer virgins. I still am and I'm going to keep it that way until I'm in a committed relationship with someone and are completely honest with me about things like this, and we use a condom.

Sex ed also has another use in school. Many people don't know the true facts about HIV/AIDS. I personally have a bit of a lead on this subject seeing as my mother was the HIV manager in my towns health department. A lot of people in my school think that you can get AIDS by touching someone who has it, and are afraid of them. I live in a very conservative town where many of the people don't see importance in getting tested if they have been exposed.

Wow, I suppose I've gone WAY off topic here. Well, how young is too young?
I don't think there is a defining age. Different people have different maturity rates, and you have to be responsible about it.

[wimer]

if you do it around a young age and forget protection go to the store and buy the mornig after pill
i had to do that for my girlfriend cause we got really serious
if anything wait till your older

[Lokilos]

I think the main message to take from these posts is that kids with active and open parents abstained longer or used protection more often. I'm not saying that's true for everyone but parents do have the main responsibility to their kids and need to remember that sometimes.

[Chameleon]

One of the things that gets me is that when a 14-year-old gets pregnant the assumption is always that she consented to the sex. And yet she's under the age of consent.

How can she have consented even if she said she wanted it?! She's not considered emotionally capable of making an informed decision like that.

I really don't like the current blame-the-child attitudes. Yes maybe she's naive, maybe she's ignorant, maybe she liked the attention, maybe she was seduced. Maybe her hormones were raging. But the reality is that if the other party is older even by a couple of years, they abused her. They abused their superior maturity and knowledge and power over someone who doesn't know how the world works.

The only exception is when there's no power differential. That might be when it's two 14-year-olds stumbling upon adult stuff too early.

[si1enc3r]

okay .. lt me tell you adults or older people summit about kids ... im 15
which is under age to do it and yes i still am a virgin .. just .. but it is not just that kids are being brought up differently today than before it is also the fact that ...
kids want to get layed befor ethey are 16 because then the did it illegaly .. so if the age raised to 17 there would be less 15 year olds having sex under age and more 16 year olds .. so pushing the age up which is better .... its pretty much because kids wanna get layed before they are legally alowed to do it !! :)

[neoaptt]

young is anything that has lived less than the person who is calling other things young.

Its the comparation.

[tinmanwcf]

Yes passing out comdoms , Parents would be outradged, I figure if they can send a man to the moon etc, WHY couldnt they make a shot to give kids-teen's to make them sterial till there like maybe 22 or so ? just a thought, but sure would solve unwanted children.And teen pregnacy's

[thurlow]

ahhhh ha ha you all mak me laugh with your ideals of sex ed and giving out condoms
you see before kids even get sex ed lessons they know all about it i mean most ten year olds could probaly list off a couple of positions
and handing out condos well if me and my mates where given condoms we would fill them with lube or hand wash and throw them to whatch peoples reactions or we would blow them up like a ballon
people realy need to get a hold of the idea that kids know about sex from very early on you just dont know about it folks

[stevefx]

Hello All this is my first contribution to this forum so hello all .

how young is to young mmmmmmm I really think there should be a more awareness in the youths of the western community I mean for Gods sake ppl how the hell could a little 14y old girl to attend school and live her childhood and take a care of a newborn baby :( the schools should have a bigger part in telling the younger generation a true stories and facts about how life will be as mom >>>

[JoeN]

In all honesty there's only so much schools can to to prepare teens for whats really "out there". Yes there could be more topics or programs that could help teens understand real life, but i think most of it needs to come from parents. I'm one for not letting parents off the hook easy. Parents need to tell their children whats what no matter how uncomfortable it makes them.

[somewhatluck]

i mean techinacally once your body is ready to reproduce and you have the urge to have sex, then nature is telling you it is time to make babies, just because soceity tells us otherwise, the rules on "age of consent" and all that jargon didn't always exist and nature doesn't follow our laws

[abdullah]

yea some dont record scores. but there also a few i saw that dont even work at all, cant even play em

[darklord]

Under the age of 18 is too young because most of us do not have a proper sense of responsibility before we reach that age.

[pakerposay]

Thats half the problem though, people not wanting to touch this subject and talk about it with teens. Some adults seem to think if you sweep teen sex under the carpet, and forget about it, it'll go away. Problem is though, it won't. I can't help but wonder how many of the 14 and 15 year old girls bringing up children, had been exposed to open and full sex education before they fell pregnant, and how many had depended on whispered lies, rumours and misinformation in the school playground.

[alexrock23]

The other major problem that we, as parents, need to address well, if not better, is the rampant sexuality exhibited by the entertainment stars our adolescents "idolize" and want to emulate. If ever there was a blatant example of where sex sells, it's in the entertainment industry. And then there is the fashion industry, encouraging young teens to dress like a garden tool