Evil Genie

[Arkacia]

Ok, I have unashamedly stolen the idea for this game, from Oldgames.nu. I am sure someone from there will notice sooner or later, and use me for fish food, but it is a good game, and deserves to be spread around :D.

The idea is basically that poster A asks the evil genie to grant a wish.
Poster B grants the wish, then makes one of his/her own.
Of course there is a catch :D

The genie always grants the wish, but with an evil twist

Example

Post A - I wish it would rain today
---------------------------------------

Post B - Granted, but it rains so much, your house is washed away, and you end up living under a bridge.

I wish I had a million dollars
---------------------------------------------

Post C - Granted, but the money comes out of a mobsters bank account, and he sends several large men to visit you

I wish.....etc
-------------------------------------------------


So first wish....

I wish I could fly

[Shaggy]

Granted, But when you are flying, hunters thinking your the biggest duck they have ever seen and start shooting.. :P

I wish this forum would get huge.. :D

[Arkacia]

Granted, but the overwhelming numbers of people using the site, cause the database to crash permanently:D

(don't worry Shaggy, we WILL get the numbers one day, but the rest will never happen:)).

I wish my internet was free, and I did'nt have to pay every month

[Mick]

Granted, but you get so many pop up ads that you spend most of your time closing them.. :D

I wish I was married to Alyssa Milano.. :p

[Shaggy]

Granted...then she see me, dumps you and gets married to me.. :D

I wish I was in was in famous Rock Band!

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but you get killed by some one who was jealous

i wish for a big screen TV with a infinte years of warrenty and full customer support with voice recionze remote thing with power surge protection and with up to date technology in it and can connect to any video game, DVD, VCR, Cable, DVR, system very easily with a mini fridge on the side full of soda

[Arkacia]

Granted, but a burgler breaks into you house the night you bring it home, steals it, and you never see it again:D.

I wish the cat we are looking after would go home tomorrow.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but the cat gets hit by a car as it is going home and it gets a crushed pelvis, 3 broken ribs, and a poped bladder and there nothing the vet can do to save it

i wish for genie that can bring back my tv and put burgler alarms around and it has finger print scanner on it and if a person it doesn't know it will shock the crap out of themand it to heavy for somebody to steal.

[Shaggy]

Granted...but a tornado hits your house, doesn't touch the house, but trashes your TV.. :D

I wish I lived in a huge house!

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but your house is so big that the support beams and stuff break and the house collapses

i wish for my genie to bring back my tv with all the features plus it is incased within a dome and the dome rest upon eartquake resistance things

[Arkacia]

Granted, but the evil Genie's older and stronger brother, the even eviler Genie, sees your TV, takes a liking to it, disables all your security, and other precautions with a wave of his hand, and takes it back to the Genie world with him, after wiping your memory of ever having owned it.

I wish the even eviler Genie never comes into our world again :D.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but you can't wish agianst my tv again

i wish for my genie to tell me everything when i was knock out and i told to bring back my tv that has magic replling power

[Mick]

Granted, but then you go blind so you cant watch the TV.... :D

I wish I could go to the moon...

[Arkacia]

Granted, though you really should have wished for a spacesuit as well. Its hard to breath when there is no atmosphere.

I wish it was'nt so hot here in Brisbane at the moment.

[pollovivo]

Granted, but as the temperature drops, the Earth plunges into another Ice Age and the human population drops drastically.

I wish that I had a gaming sytem that couldn't be destoyed, had all games peloaded onto it, could play new games and had no intention of destroying what survived of humanity after the ice age...

[Mick]

Granted, but because of the ice age there is no power to run your gaming system so you cant use it

I wish I had a Nissan GTR in Black.....

[Arkacia]

Granted, here it is, the perfect matchbox replica, you can even open the doors. Should fit perfectly on your knick knacks shelf :D.

I wish more people would come out of the arcade, and post on the forums.

[Mick]

Granted, but you...Arkacia..... are going to have lots more work to do.... checking messages and deleting the bad ones by the people that dont read the rules!!!!

PS ....The Evil Genie quietly admits "actually Shaggy beat me to this one.. but dont tell anyone..."
Also, I decided I dont like Nissan GTR's any more... :(

I wish I had a Fender Strat with a huge Marshall stack...

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as this evil Genie has'nt the faintest idea what that is, you recieve a special edition, Barbie doll, complete with dream house instead :D

I wish all the horrible reality TV shows (Big brother, idol, survivor etc), disappeared forever, and were replaced with decent shows.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but fox and stuff lose money after taking those shows off the air so they put them back on

i wish for an adult size go-cart with an engine and the correct gas for the engine and its starts up perfectly fine and i have 20 copies of the key

[Mick]

Granted, but as this evil Genie has'nt the faintest idea what that is, you recieve a special edition, Barbie doll, complete with dream house instead :D

I wish all the horrible reality TV shows (Big brother, idol, survivor etc), disappeared forever, and were replaced with decent shows.

A Fender Strat is a very nice guitar and a Marshall stack is an amplifier with several speaker boxes plugged in.... :D
I'm really sick of all those reality TV shows too!! although this time of the year we start to see all the regular christmas season shows. In a couplle of months we will be begging them to put normal programs back on....

Granted, but you crash on your first drive and it burns down to a lump of twisted metal

I wish I didnt have to work anymore....

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but you become a homeless bum on the streets

i wish for a video game design class at my high school.

[Mick]

Granted, but they teach you to make games like "Sim barbie doll" and "The Wiggles adventure in lolly land"

I wish my car drove to work by itself

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as your car has a really bad sense of direction, you arrive at work 4 hours late, and the boss fires you.

I wish I had a real botomless cup of hot coffee, ie the cup never empties, or gets cold, no matter how much I drink.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but your esohpgus gets eroded away and your teeth rot.

I wish for some soda that tastes really good.

[Mick]

Granted, the evil genie gives you a can of coke.....(Tastes good to me!!!!)

I wish I had the best computer available

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but you go to set it up it is missing the mother board

I wish for some bacon MMMMMMMM......Bacon :D

[Shaggy]

Granted...but is all eaten up by me before you get any.. :p

I wish I never had to work again!!

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but you become a homeless person.

i wish for some popcorn chicken from KFC.

[TimidAngel]

granted. but the chicken is poisoned and you become deathly ill.
i wish i could move back to ohio

[Shaggy]

Granted, but on your move, you get in a car crash, have to pay for the repairs of the car, you medical bills, and you ended up not having enough money left, so you can't move to Ohio.

I wish I would be able to sit in front of my computer all day. :)

[Mick]

Granted, but you get into a car crash and end up in a wheelchair, so you can sit but not stand.

I wish junk food was good for you...

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but it still makes you fat

i wish for an XBOX game.

[Shaggy]

Granted, but that XBOX game you get frys you xbox console.

I wish I was the rishest man in the world.

[Unbreakable9]

Granted, but you become nerdier than bill gates

i wish i was famous

[Shaggy]

Granted, but your famous for being a guy that was caught looking at 80 year women in the shower. Man, you were all over the news!!

I wish I could knew how to fly a plane!

[Unbreakable9]

granted, but after your first flight you crash into a barn and die

I wish I could have a non evil genie

[Shaggy]

Granted, but I give you another Evil Genie fo christmas..:)

I wish I could read minds!!

[Unbreakable9]

Granted, but then you find out how much everyone hates you

I wish i could have xray vision

[Shaggy]

Granted, but you end up looking at your mom and see everything.. :)

I wish I was a pro basketball player.. ;)

[Unbreakable9]

eww, granted but you end up in a fight with the pacers and lose your career.

I wish I had world series tickets

[Arkacia]

Granted, but after you get them in your hot little hands, and have a good look a them, you see they are tickets to the world series cricket:).

I wish it would stop raining here (been raining for 5 days straight).

[Unbreakable9]

Granted, it stops for about 5 minutes then rains harder and never stops.

I wish i could trade these stupid cricket tickets

[Mick]

Granted, but you can only trade them for tickets to the ballet...

I wish they would stop playing christmas carols at every shopping centre

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but they play it every where else you go

i wish for a more video games for my xbox.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but the property tax overwhelms you and you become poor

i wish for pet chicken!:D

[Arkacia]

Granted, but your chicken turns out to be a rooster, and the crowing at daybreak drives you and your neighbours absolutly insane.

I wish my house was self cleaning.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but the electronics that control the self cleaning go haywire and all of the dust and dirt and stuff starts spewing every where then you have to clean evey thing yourself:D
I wish for a lot of money!:D:D

[Mick]

Granted, the Evil Genie gives you lots of Monopoly money

I wish I didn't have to sleep so I could play Half Life 2 all night!

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but you go insane and become allergic to sun light.

i wish for genuine U.S. money

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as the evil genie is feeling generous, you are also transported to a beautiful small tropical island in the middle of the Pacific, where you are the only human alive, and have nowhere to spend your new money.

I wish there were no more annoying, biting insects on earth.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but the whole ecosystem of earth gets mess up and species start dying out and then will die out soon

I wish for a shelby cobra car full size and works and gas and keys and can drive it.

[Arkacia]

Granted, but its stolen an hour after you get it, and before you have a chance to drive it.

I wish small children came with an off switch

( I don't hate kids, but had a group of them screaming on the bus this morning :D)

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but they go on super overdrive when you switch them back on to make up for the time were shut down

i wish for a new level in membership.

[fighting_falcon_926]

granted, but than you will waste half of your life in front of the computer

I wish for complete control of the universe

[Mick]

Granted, but you don't get it for another 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years when there is not much left of the universe

I wish they would put better movies on TV

[Arkacia]

Granted, but they decide to only show them from midnight to 6am, so they don't interfere with all the sport and real life televison shows :D.

I wish I was'nt so tired.

[cheese is so good]

granted, but you wont be aloud to sleep for 9,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years
i wish i had a lion

[Mick]

Granted, but as soon as you go near the lion he eats you!

I wish there were more nice people in this world

[kate.r]

Granted, but your TV blows up the second you turn it on.

I the holidays never finish!

[Arkacia]

Granted, but because you never finish school, you can't find a decent job and spend the rest of your working life doing double shifts making burgers at McDonalds.

I wish I did'nt have to sleep, and could stay awake and fresh 24/7

[Prikkebeen13]

Granted.......but you will get so tired that you can't do anything else......


I wish to find some things I am looking for....

[Mick]

Granted but you lose them again the next day.....

I wish I had a new motorbike....

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as the genie is broke, it was stolen from a Hells Angel, who has just found out where you live :D.

I wish I was alert enough to finish finding the clues for OGs treasure hunt.

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but you are so alert that you go crazy........

I wish i didn't have to take the AIMS tests(arizona instrument of measuring standards)
or something like that

[Mick]

Granted, you don't do the test but fail the subject and have to do it all again.

I wish I didn't have to go to the dentist...

[Arkacia]

Granted, but all your teeth fall out one by one, accompanied by very high levels of pain.

I wish I could think up a decent wish....

[Mick]

Granted, but since you only get one wish and you used up your wish thinking up the decent wish.... it's useless anyway.

I wish I had a faster internet connection....

[Freakums]

Granted. The net drops out of popularity due to a new invention called: "The Wired" whioch is bassically a virtual relaity re[presentation of the net,m but works over different lines. Now that the net is dirt-cheap and no oner is clogging up the bandwidth, you have a much faster web connection! howevere, most web pages have trabnsferred to the wired!

I wish that I knew where the heck evil genie originated from! (even oldganmes copied it from somewhere . . .. .)

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as this is a secret jelously guarded by the evil Genie, and his family, after receiving the information, you are immediatly rendered totally incapable of communicating with anybody in any way, so the secret stays safe until the day you die.

I wish some of the non-OG RG people would give the IRC a go

[Freakums]

granted, howvere, I scare them, all all away, along wioht all those evil care-bears chasing Bloodnok(aka bladie)!

I wish that all evil miond-controlling childrens cartoons would be made illegal!
(tele-tubies, care-bears, etc.)

[Arkacia]

Granted, but because the TV channels need something to fill in the hours those cartoons used to take up, they start showing re-runs of The Brady Bunch.

I wish people did'nt hate poor innocent little care bears so much :D.

[Freakums]

Granted.

However, I wish that before you ahd wished that, you would realize the evil-mind-controlling powers the care bears are using on you!

[pollovivo]

Granted but since the time is not defined, Arkacia Realizes this at 3 years old, and has forgotten by the time of the wish.

I wish that birds would take over the world by force...

[Baldie]

Wish granted, however you become their first victim and die a slow horrible death :D

I wish that I had a swimming pool filled with Guinness :D :D

[Mick]

Granted, but when you first see the pool you find someone has drowned in it:D

I wish I could fly to work

[Mantzaros]

Granted, you can now fly to work, after paying for the plane ticket. Twice, as you'll be first flying out of Australia and then back to get to your job. Unpractical and uneconomical maybe, but what the heck.

I wish magical girls existed. ^___^

[pollovivo]

Granted, but they turn out evil and reek havoc among the populus :D

I wish that I was the best gamer on earth... (not that I'm not already! :D joking!)

[Arkacia]

Granted, but just as you acheive this, a nasty accident deprives you of both your hands, so you can play games no more.

I wish no-one ever spammed on this site again.

[pollovivo]

Granted, but that causes the site to fry due to a nasty virus... :(

I wish that I had my hands back...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but your reattached hands get gangrene and fall off anyway

I wish my Lacrosse stick hadn't been shattered yesterday

[pollovivo]

Granted, but it shatters tomorrow...

I wish I was able to breathe underwater

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but you can no longer breathe without water

I wish I had a job that paid me $300 an hour for doing nothing but playing games

[pollovivo]

Granted, but you end up stuck playing crappy reject games...

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my eyes...

[Freakums]

grnated, you co-lead a group called the y-men and you wear enmerald galsses . .. .you dang posers!

I wish that people weren;t so tou8chy abouyt ym typos!

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but you let your typos getso bad that nobody knows what you are saying so they just ignore you

i wish for a PSP that works fine and that there is nothing wrong with

[supermario]

granted, you recieve the PSP, but are stranded on a desert island without any games...

i wish that I took the "Snake" trophy from Simon :p

[Freakums]

granjted, but the cyber-pol,ice soon arrest you for burglarizibng simon!

I wish that I could go on the nbet at more convieeent hours, like today!

[supermario]

Granted, the clock is changed to fit your schedule and the whole world comes to a halt as a result...

I wish I could leap tall buildings in a single bound...

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but on the way down from your jump you hit the ground and become a pancake.

i wish for a faster computer

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but as a result of your computer's super speed, it gets outdated faster as well

I wish for my Ex and I to get back together

[Arkacia]

Granted, but you break up again one day later (this one is'nt very fair, I don't like making jokes about people's heartaches ;):))

I wish all the worlds people could be completly happy for just one day.

[HinesDaMan]

Lol, it's all good

Granted, but the world becomes miserable the following day

I wish for 100 posts...

[pollovivo]

granted, but then your account erases itself :p

I wish I could read the minds of goldfish...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but you become dumber in the process...

I wish I could run a 4-minute mile

[supermario]

Granted, but the mile becomes shorter...

I wish i could write an award-winning novel...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but it wins the award for "Most Blatantly Homosexual Romance Novel"

I wish that Supermario's post count stopped going up

[pollovivo]

granted, but your starts going down...

I wish chickens tasted like fish

[supermario]

Granted, but fish now taste like chicken...

I wish that i could take back the PinHeadz trophy...

[Freakums]

grnated, but you lose it soon after to tax auidtiors for uhhhhh . . . . . somethign or other.

I wish that i could win a trophy that i could actuially keep for more then a day!(or two)

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but after the second day I take it from you...mwa hahaha...

I wish that more people posted on and cared about the forum on this site...

[supermario]

Granted, but the forums become clogged by the amount of Microsoft spam....

I wish Microsoft collapsed...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted but soon Apple collapses, and with the loss of the two best technology companies, the entire world falls into a primitive state and civilization falls into an anarchial world ruled by traveling gangs with names like "The Ug Ugs" and "Me like food"

Haha...

I wish that abortion was finally outlawed...

[pollovivo]

Granted, but you find yourself mysteriously pregnant the next day...

I wish that I had a dime for every idiot I met...

[supermario]

Granted, but everybody else is richer than you... :p

I wish I had a good day today...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but the idiots find out you've been collecting on their idiocy, and as such band together to attempt to drink all of your water through a hose

I wish that I held my trophies forever

[supermario]

Granted, but you only have three trophies, and many have more...

I wish that I was playing Super Smash Brothers Melee...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but that game sucks

I wish that I didn't have to go to school anymore

[supermario]

granted... school now comes to you, :p

I wish that I had 102 posts...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but after that the forum malfunctions and stops recording your posts...

I wish that I was an Advanced Gamer!

[supermario]

granted (really)... but you start going backwards in posts, much like the load the boats game

I wish I could drive across the country...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but you run out of gas in California and are forced to become a hobo

I wish that gas was cheaper...

[supermario]

granted, but car insurance goes up again...

I wish that gas was free...

[Arkacia]

Granted, but all vehicles that use a motor now cost 100 time what they used to, to make up for it.

I wish my husband would remember to turn the lights off when he leaves a room :D

[Freakums]

granted, he becomes paranoid of all the lights in the hbouse aand carries around a pistol in case he sees an artifical source of illumination!

I wish that arkacia dioesn;t get hiot by any stray bullets!

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but...uhh...I can't hope that she gets hits by bullets! Let's say she gets hit by stray cats...

I wish that high school was over

[pollovivo]

Granted, but you get stuck in a cruddy college for decades...

I wish I had an IQ of 300...

[Freakums]

granted, you are now a third your age again, thus your intelligence qouitioent, or mental age, is at least triple what it was. (remember, a ten year old with an iq of 110 has mental age of 11. most people donl;t know thatm, and thus many iq scores are highly innaccurate . . . . yepo, thats right . .. the mensa people don;lt know that, and therefore use the same formula and numbers as whenever the iq test was invented . . . . of course, some mensas stick to it for tradition, others have NOW changed to the correct system)

I wish that I was a better programmer . . .

[supermario]

granted, but you are given a worse compiler

I wish I had a cottage on a beautiful lake up north...

[Freakums]

granted, but the lake freezes for 8 months of the year, the highest temperature ever recorded bwas 20 degrees celsuis during a freak heat wave, the lowest (and average) temperature is abotu -60 somewhere, but we can;t tell because out thermometers forze,
anmd, worst of all, I;m your new neighbour! wewlcome to Newfoundland, my friend!

I wish that supermario doesn;t freeze to death, get eaten by wild rabbits, trampled by caribou, drown forma capsized boat, or any of the dangers we face up here in newfoundland! ^_^

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, he just faces all the dangers of the Ghettoes in Downtown Detroit...
I wish that Notre Dame gave me a full ride to go to school there instead of just $2k/year

[supermario]

Granted, but the ghettoes of Downtown South Bend get you...

I wish I had $10

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but I steal it

I wish that I had a PSP

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as this genie is'nt sure exactly what that is, I send you a nice fresh trout instead.

I wish animals could speak.

[supermario]

Granted, but they talk in a language you don't understand...

I wish the arcade had some new games...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted...but the evil genie continues as he has ever since I joined (2 weeks ago, lol) and decides to not release them

I wish that MSU had won the National Championship

[supermario]

Granted... they won in 1979 and 2000... lol

I wish that this game was put to rest...

[donkey720]

Granted, but then you realised that you liked this game and get chucked off this site for begging to hard for this game to start again. (random)

I wish my sister stopped hogging the remote

[supermario]

Granted, the evil genie sends her to an evil land with no remotes, but unfortunately, you travel along (even more random)

I wish I had a brain...

[Every1sHero]

Granted, but it escapes from your head and takes over the world, forcing everyone into slavery. (Easily the most random)

I wish that people stopped posting random things

[Arkacia]

Granted, but as this genie is'nt sure what that is, the spell does'nt work, and the randomness continues unabated.

I wish I was awake enough to think of a good wish.

[supermario]

Granted, but since you want to be awake, you can be awake forever!

I wish that Random Games bought Google...

[cheese is so good]

granted, but then the whole systems backfired and all the computers in the world crashed and civilisation as we no it to come to an end!!!!

i wish i owned miami

[supermario]

Granted, but you are shut off from the rest of the world by an angry United States...

I wish I had the Foreigner Greatest Hits CD...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted. Owning Miami is bad enough as it is, there's no reason to make it worse.

I wish that I was infallible

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but it has a huge scratch on it

i wish for a glass of soda

[supermario]

boy, this thread is getting so screwed up...

granted, but it's called pop from where I am..., so I give you baking soda

I wish I had a CD scratch remover...

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but it doesnt work because it is missing a key componet

i wish for an IPOD

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but instead it adds scratches.

I wish that Psikid knew what infallible meant

[supermario]

Granted, Psikid swallows a dictionary and outdoes you in vocabulary... asking you what Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia means?

I wish I had a best buy shopping spree...

[HinesDaMan]

Granted, but Best Buy no longer is an electronics store, but instead a knitting store.

I wish that I was a billionaire

[supermario]

Granted... a billion rupees!

I wish I had a million US dollars at my disposal right now...

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but the CIA comes takes it back

what do you mean by it ads scratchs it is an MP3 you cant have scratchs on digital music

Granted, but he doesn't care to remeber

i wish for a alienware computer

i wish for a car

[HinesDaMan]

What is going on with the double-posting? Neither made sense...

Granted, you now drive a Yugo.

I wish that the double-posting would end.

[supermario]

Granted... a 1972 Gremlin!

I wish for a new MP3..

[psikid@cox.net]

granted but it is missing the memory chip thing

i wish for more games

[supermario]

Granted, you recieve Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders in the mail...

I wish for world peace...

[psikid@cox.net]

granted, but the good and evil balance disrupted and the ends

i wish for a new bike

[supermario]

granted... but since I was out of bicycles, I got you a tricycle instead :D

I wish I had a new rank!

(Yay, my 250th post!)

[HinesDaMan]

Granted. 'Nuf said.

I wish that the game title for 250 was better than "Tetris Addict"...I hate tetris.

[supermario]

granted... although genie had trouble becoming an administrator... sorry...

I wish that I could earn money by posting in the forums.

[Every1sHero]

Granted. You make .00000000000000000000000000000000001 pennies per post.

I wish that I had a trophy.

[Mick]

Granted but you get a trophy for the worst score in the arcade....

I wish I didn't get a hangover from drinking

[Every1sHero]

Granted; instead of a hangover, you die.

I wish that college was free.

[supermario]

Granted, but the books now cost $10,000...

I wish that Tiger would have lost the Masters.

[pollovivo]

Granted, but the Masters end up being permanently cancelled...

I wish that the evil genie would disappear forever, and that another one couldn't come...

[Arkacia]

Sort of granted, I can take a hint :D

The evil genie is going away for a rest, but no promises that he won't be back.

*closed*